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from Starrbodies by Cynthia A. Jensen

Copyright © 2019–2020 Cynthia A. Jensen

Chapter 6

Chapter Six


December 26, 2016

Dear Luci,

This evening I decided that I am going to change my whole life around. I’m tired of being fat, being teased, being leered at by people with disgusted looks on their faces. I’m tired of clothes not fitting me properly, but most of all, tired of living life the way I am.

What I’m not: Happy nor healthy.

What I’m going to do: Make an appointment with my dr., sign up for membership at Oxy’s gym, start doing morning walks before work (when I’m working. If I’m not working, then longer walks), start a recipe file with the proper foods, and learn to cook them.

My reward: New athletic shoes, new gym outfit, new gym bag, new swimsuit (for the pool at the gym), and a new bluetooth pair of headphones for when I’m working out in the exercise area.

I am determined to do this. I have the mind-set. I will succeed!        

           I named my journal “Luci” because I used to have a cat with that name. It seemed appropriate because Luci (the cat) had been gifted to me by a friend to help me with my depression. She had changed my life, and I hoped the journal would help me change my life for the better.

Jasmine had been right. The pen was smooth and comfortable to hold. I clicked it off, closed my journal, and laid them both on my nightstand. The journal had a ribbon in it to hold my place. I really liked it.

I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I passed Todd’s room.

“Night, Todd.” I said.

“Night, Man.”

I went back to my room and changed into my pajamas. I put my clothes in the hamper, and closed my door. Todd always left his door open, but I felt more comfortable with mine shut. Like I was in my own little cocoon or something. I’d always felt this way. I pulled down my burgundy comforter and laid down on my black sheets. They were 1800 thread count Egyptian sheets, soft as butter. I had three sets, black, burgundy (of course) and Tahitian sand. I re...

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