I arrived in Los Angeles four weeks ago and here I am in jail. I should mention why I’m here - not jail, LA I mean. I am a Personal Trainer to the stars. Well that's a slight exaggeration but that was my dream when I entered the Main Event Competition at home in England. The event is run by Move Makers Gym, based in LA. Their trainers work with the Hollywood elite and the winner of the competition would get to work in their gym for three months. I didn't win but I came close; Patsy and Rae, who own the gym, loved my personality and people skills so decided to give me a month working with them to gain some experience and have just extended my stay for another three months. The winner was Karen Lester, my bitch of a boss at the gym I worked in. She's here too - not jail, LA.
I introduce myself to the girl sitting on the bench next to me.
"Are you Australian?" she asks.
"No I'm British."
"Oh sorry, you sound Australian. I'm Terri. Why are you here?"
"I’m working at Move Makers; it's a gym where all the celebrities go to train. I entered this competition..."
"No I meant why are you in jail."
"Oh, yes well it's a long story."
"Babe, we ain't going anywhere for a while and I could use the distraction you know?"
"Right, well I had just been given my first celebrity client, Madeline Harvey —."
"Who's Madeline Harvey?"
"Don't you know? She was in some really popular series about ten years ago and she's been in films I think. Have you really never heard of her?"
"No, I'm seventeen."
Terri is wearing a skirt so short I can see her minnie-moo-ma — If you know what I mean — and her blonde hair reaches to her tiny...