I was startled by the loud vibration of my phone on the snack table. I quickly picked it up.
“One new message”
Sliding my finger across my screen I clicked on the messages app. My heart stopped. It read: Matt. “Hey, sorry I missed you this morning. Hope you slept well.”
I placed my phone on my lap and looked up in disbelief. I guess we must’ve exchanged numbers last night before he put me to sleep in his room. I vaguely remember stumbling around while some conversation ensued, which led to me apologizing and him offering me his bed while he slept on the couch.
I refreshed my phone and opened the message back up. Do I respond? Does he know I took the cash? A million and a half thoughts were running through my head. Deep breath, Zoe, deep breath.
I hit reply. “I did, thanks again for last night.”
I sent it and immediately set my phone aside, wondering if I made the right move. I tried to focus on the bland comedy show I put on to keep me occupied but I couldn’t even remotely concentrate. I glanced at my phone. Maybe I’ll take a shower.
I got up and flicked the bathroom light on, turning the shower handle to get it as warm as I could. Hot water was limited in my apartment so I had to be quick about my hygiene. As I undressed I took notice of my left hip. There was a massive bruise from where I fell, tender to the touch.
The hot water only lasted long enough for me to wash my thick hair and give myself a quick rinse. After that it became so cold I had goosebumps. That’s what I get for choosing a cheap apartment, I thought.
I dried myself off and wrapped my hair in towel, walking out to my bed. I grabbed a bottle of lotion from the bookshelf to soothe my skin and found my phone. No message. Figures. But just after I dried myself off completely and went to grab my clothes, I heard a vibrate. My head snapped around and I looked at my phone’s screen. It was a message.
Matt: “Do you want to meet up again soon?”
I wanted to immediately type YES, but I held back. The cautious side of me was worried this might be a setup, but the other side of me felt a connection and wanted to explore. I took the jump and responded.
“Sure, sounds good. Talk soon to set up a time!” I wanted to keep it vague and not show too much excitement or disengagement. About five seconds later he sent me a smiley face back.
Alright, I suppose that’s a good response…
I finished getting dressed throwing on a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. I laid back in bed and grabbed the remote again. Nothing. I turned the power off and threw on a pair of moccasins, grabbing my keys and heading out the door.
“Hey Zoe,” Josh said as he answered the door.
“Hey, mind if I take you up on the hang out? I could use some company.”
He opened the door and led me inside where I was greeted by Brutus wagging his tail side to side, his whole body shaking with happiness.
“Why aren’t humans like this?”
“It’s just the way we’re biologically wired,” Josh said.
I laughed.
“You want a drink or anything?”
I grabbed my stomach and motioned no. “Water will do.”
“Rough night?”
“You could say that.” I walked through, his apartment was pristine as usual. Every item was in its designated place. Papers were stacked in a perfect pile on his counter and his bed was made without any creases in the comforter.
“Make yourself at home,” Josh said as he went to his kitchen to grab a glass.
His apartment was slightly larger than mine, which allowed him room for a small couch and sitting area that was cornered off by an oriental room divider.
“Here you go.”
Josh joined me on the couch, setting my water and his beer on the coasters situated on the tiny black end table used as the area’s centerpiece. The whole place had a modern theme with black and white furniture. Even the dog bed looked contemporary.
“Thanks.”
We sat in silence for a little until Brutus decided to make a ruckus trying to jump on the couch.
“No Brutus. No.” Josh yelled.
“Awe, it’s OK. I don’t mind.”
“I don’t want him to bother you he’s almost 100 pounds.”
I laughed, grabbing one of his toys and throwing it. I took a sip of my water and made sure to place it back on the coaster. We started talking about work and I noticed his outfit was dressed up for a Sunday. He had on light blue shorts and boat shoes with a collared polo shirt that accentuated his deep blue eyes. His hair was the only feature I could say was slightly out of place. It had a ‘just washed’ look to it with strands lying about his face in no particular form. I wasn’t used to his hair not being perfectly gelled up. I guess he was cute in his own way -- by the looks of it maybe a little uptight but who was I to judge.
I immediately realized what I was wearing and felt underdressed, but continued to engage in conversation.
“...that’s a pretty cool story you’re working on, I hope it works out for you,” he said to me.
“Yeah me too, I’m sure it will but if not at least I did all I could. Now what exactly is it that you do? I see you walking out in your suits and briefcase all the time. Are we a Wall Street exec?”
He laughed. “No, I’m a business analyst and deal with corporate investments, so I work with a lot of big-wigs and have to be on my A-game all day. It’s tiring but, it pays the bills here in New York. I mean, I grew up here, I know the city and I know it’s a tough one but it gives me a high that I can’t find anywhere else. You know? It’s almost unexplainable.”
“No I get it. I moved here because of the opportunity. It’s the city full of people with drive, with gumption. You need to be around those types of people when you’re in the creative world. At least for me, it helps a lot.”
‘Yeah I get it,” he said. We stared off toward the TV. “So what movie you in the mood for?”
“Eh, comedy or action,” I said as I took my moccasins off, grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and made myself comfortable.
“Comedy it is,” he said.
I must’ve fallen asleep halfway through the movie because I awoke to credits on the screen. I looked around, Josh was next to me on his phone.
I sat up, running my hand over my face as if to wake it up. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep.”
“It’s OK, you looked so comfortable I didn’t want to wake you.”
I smiled. “What time is it?”
“A little after 8.”
“Oh no, I better get going so I can get settled for work tomorrow,” I said as I got up from the couch and started folding the blanket.
“You’re welcome to stay Zoe.”
I placed the blanket on the back of the couch and shook my head, trying not to be awkward. “That’s so sweet but I can’t, I have to get everything ready for tomorrow, you know.”
“No I get it, let me walk you out.”
I said goodbye to Brutus and thanked Josh for having me. I felt extremely groggy from my nap and just wanted to sleep, but I realized I didn’t cook anything to take to work tomorrow. Oh well. I’ll just get pick up something from a street vendor tomorrow.
I turned the air on and fell into my bed under my covers. The comfort took me into a deep sleep and before I knew it, it was Monday and my alarm was making noise at 7 a.m.
I sighed.
I grabbed my phone and shut the alarm off. As my eyes were coming into focus I saw I had two unread messages.
Mom: Have a great day honey, miss you.
“Matt:” How about tonight?”
He wants to hang out already? Doesn’t that break the three-day rule or whatever? I sat up to make sure I read it right.
Matt: How about tonight?” Yup, still there.
I got up and checked my liquor stash to make sure I had some whiskey left in the bottle. I picked up the jug and shook it. It should work.
“Tonight’s good. When and where?”
I perused my closet for an outfit. I picked a dark green tank top with a lacey black accent, layered with a maroon blazer. I topped it off with black capri pants and a pair of nude heels. Good enough for a Monday.
“7 p.m. at the Rockaway.”
“See you tonight!” I responded.
The Rockaway was a bit of stretch located in Brooklyn, but the subway was much quicker than taxi and I didn’t care. I got off from work at 5 and was excited to see him. I was willing to do whatever, and besides, Lennox would be in control.
The day seemed to drag about an hour after I got into work. I was on the 14th floor. It was your standard newsroom with an open atmosphere, decorated with four desks in a square in various places on the floor. It was a place for interaction, for ideas. But today, I was stuck. None of my sources were calling back and I was left sitting in boredom. I checked other news sites, tapped my pen on my desk to a beat, and tried to make conversation with coworkers. Finally, I left for lunch.
I hit the food truck three blocks from work that made the best chicken tacos I’ve ever had in my life. The chicken was always perfectly seasoned and cooked just right, and the soft tortilla snuggled the meaty inside tight enough for me to dip it into the cups of sour cream I always requested. The workers knew me well enough to know I always like extra dippings.
I was waiting in line when I heard my name. I looked up and heard it again, turning around to see a familiar face.
“Oh hey there,” I said. “Getting in on the best tacos around?”
“You know it. How’s your Monday?” Josh asked.
“Eh, it’s a Monday.”
“I feel you, maybe these tacos will make it a bit better.” he said with a smile as he fished out his wallet from his suit pocket. I don’t know how he wasn’t sweating in this heat. “What are you getting into later?”
“I’m actually going to meet a friend at Rockaway in Brooklyn,” I said. I ordered two chicken tacos with my sides of sour cream and guacamole.
“Really? That’s so funny I’m heading there tonight too with some friends.”
I looked back at him and all I could see was his impeccable hair, his eyes hidden by sunglasses.
I laughed a nervous laugh, not knowing what to say. “That’s cool. Maybe I’ll see you there.” I nodded as I grabbed my food off the truck. “Have a good one!” I yelled as I walked away before he could respond with anything.
What were the chances Josh and I would be going to the same place? It’s in Brooklyn, not a bar down the block. I shoved my taco into the sour cream and then into my mouth as I walked back to work. Half of the cream missed my mouth, deciding it’d be better worn as a foundation for my face. I quickly grabbed a napkin I was holding under the plate and fixed myself.
“...It’s not like he would see me though because I wouldn’t be there as Zoe...but why is he going to Brooklyn? Does he go there often?” I asked myself aloud. I dug my key card out of my pocket and swiped into my building. More thoughts circulated throughout my brain until I yelled to myself outloud “STOP.” Who cares if he was going. It was none of my business, so why was I making it mine?
I walked into the elevator and hit the button for the 14th floor. It must’ve stopped on every single floor before we got to my department. It felt like it took 20 minutes. When the doors to the workplace opened my plate of an unfinished taco and I went back to my desk. I opened my email to find over 70 new emails, most of which I knew were spam but I looked closely just in case one of my sources emailed me back. They love to email instead of call, it makes my job just that much easier. I rolled my eyes. With my finger on the delete button, I paused for a moment.
I didn’t know the recipient, but the subject was titled “Rockaway” and it started with “Hey there Zoe.”
My body froze. I read the rest of the email quickly until I got to the end to see the signature: Josh. For a minute I thought it would’ve been Matt, but then again, logically thinking, there wasn’t a chance.
“Hey Zoe.
Sorry if I startled you somehow at the taco truck. You took off kind of quick.
Oh, and I found your email by searching for the story you were telling me you worked on. Your byline was at the top. I’m not a stalker, I promise.
Hope we’re good.
Josh”
I didn’t really know how to respond. He cares enough to send me an email and worries about offending me. Does he like me? Do I like him? My phone vibrated in my purse and cut me off.
Matt: I hope your day’s going well. Can’t wait to see you later. Be ready. We might have to take care of another...adventure.
I smiled. Only three more hours of work and I was free. I was free to become the woman I chose to be.
I came home and flopped my purse on my bed, immediately heading to my closet to pick an outfit for the night. I wasn’t sure what we may get into, so I grabbed a pair of black leggings and my red pair of shoes that looked like sneakers but that didn’t say ‘I’m going running’. I chose a white T-shirt with a plunging v-neck to show some skin and dressed it up with another light cardigan I had -- in a shade of black of course -- to emit a bohemian-esque style. I checked out my choice in the mirror. Now I just had to touch up my make-up and start drinking. I took out a shot glass from the cabinet and opened the bottle, pouring what was left into it. Taking my first shot at the kitchen counter, I poured another and took it to the bathroom with me.
Four shots in, I sat on my bed ready, and waiting.
On the subway to Brooklyn I couldn’t help but look around, wondering what I’d be getting into tonight, if anything.
Soon I found myself at Rockaway. It was a small bar, easy to miss if you weren’t a local or weren’t searching for it in particular. I walked in and found a seat at the bar. The smell of smoke hit my nostrils and the hazy air was all around. I didn’t smoke, but did Lennox?
The bartender brought me a beer. As he placed it down on the coaster the seat next to me moved backward. I looked up, happy to see a familiar face.
“Hey there,” Matt said. “Good to see you again.”
“You too! What are you drinking?”
He flagged down the bartender and I looked him over. He was in the same black jeans and black boots, but this time he had on a maroon v-neck that showed off his broad shoulders. I noticed he had a bit of a stubble on his face that I failed to see Saturday. It accentuated his jawline and his deep brown eyes. They were captivating. I smiled when he turned to me and he returned the favor.
“So I had a lot of fun with you the other night,” he began saying as he took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Before he lit one he gestured the pack to me but I declined. He didn’t seem to mind, continuing to light his cancer stick and exhaling a line of thick smoke. “I have another job tonight I was hoping you’d be interested in.”
“Oh really? Do tell.” I took a sip of my beer, playing with the label as I listened.
“It’s not until 9, but it’s similar to last time. Just with a different boss.”
“Can I ask you something?” I said to him. He nodded.
“Is this how you make your livelihood or something? Do you work at all? I know you said you dabble in construction but, is this like your second job?”
He laughed. “You could say that, Lenn.”
Lenn...he already was nicknaming me. I couldn’t tell if I liked it or not at the moment.
He was a man of short sentences, vague detail. A part of me wanted more, but a part of me also knew this wasn’t who I really was and I was living a lie in the moment. So, vague was good, I thought.
As the night went on I remembered Josh said he’d be here, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I only saw a few groups of guys situated at different tables talking, laughing and smoking, blowing off steam from their Monday.
I was startled by a vibration on the bar. It was Matt’s phone. He picked it up, reading intently. “Looks like we have to go now.”
I looked at my beer, nearly half full and decided to finish it in a few gulps before we left. “Damn Lenn, look at you.” he said as we stood up to leave. “I try,” I said with a laugh.
Matt’s car was right outside the bar across the street. I grabbed my hair tie and put my long locks in a low ponytail, ready for anything. “Where are we going?”
“Just to the other side of town.”
He switched the car into drive and his engine made a loud noise, leaving a trail of what we once were before the end of the night.