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Chapter 17: Carrie {A Parody}

by Bert LaVey

  {The saga of a young, black girl with ESP Powers}  

 

The Shower Scene:  "You mean all I was doing was having my period? I nearly went psycho in that shower room! I didn't know what the hell was happening to me! Blood running all down my leg. And those nasty girls laughing at me! I thought I cut myself, you know where! My damn period! You need to tell me about stuff like that momma. I was embarrassed to tears!"  The Closet Scene:   

"You need to pray Karrie! PRAY! PRAY! Save your soul! Get in that prayer closet and pray, your soul away!" I wished I could pray her away. "Yeah, whatever you say, Mother!" Karrie goes into the dark closet. "If Jesus is in here I think he needs a new place to hang out!" Karrie said. "YOU GET IN THAT CLOSET AND PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!!" 'Damn! That woman got some serious problems! Boy! Does SHE have issues!" 

 The Breast Scene:  

 "There breast momma, breast! You stupid bitch! And I am going to the Prom tonight, with a boy! Yes, I cleaned all the dishes tonight. Yes, I did all the kitchenware! Yes, even the knives! Why do you ask?"  

 

 The Pre-Prom Scene:  

 "Now why is this white boy asking me to the prom? I know this has got to be some kind of setup! I ain't the most popular girl in school! Oh, what the fuck! He's cute and got that curly blonde hair like William Katt. I wonder if he dreams of being a Great American Hero!? Oh no! I know I didn't say that! Anyway! I don't care. I'll go with him to the prom. It's not like I am getting laid every day! And besides, he got big feet if you know what I mean!"  The Night of the Prom Scene:  "Look, momma, get out of my way! I am going to that prom tonight, and if you don't move I am going to make you fly around this round like Casper the friendly ghost!"  

 Under The Stage Scene:  "John Travolta!? You, a teenager!? You are the OLDEST teenager I ever saw! "And that girlfriend who was with you? She looked old enough to be your mother! Teenagers my ass!"  The Bucket Scene  

 

  "Forget this! Right, when I was just getting into my groove! Got invited to the Prom by this good-looking white boy. Even got named King and Queen of the Dance.  I'm having the best time of my lonely life! Then this bull happens! Uh-uh! You KNOW this ain't happening! Oh know they didn't! WTF?  Pig's blood all over my new dew?!  MMMM! They thought that incident in the shower was a big deal!? Well, I'm really pissed now! Wait till they see this 'Light Show!'"  

 The Revenge Scene:  "Uh uh! Ain't none of you leaving this party." "Pour pig's blood on me and laugh!? I don't think so!" "Wanna try a little fire, scare-teacher!?" "How about a firecracker up your ass, laughing boy!?" "Let's see what a thousand volts of electricity will do to your body!"   

Ending Scene:  It is the end of the Prom. The place is on fire, and many dead bodies are on the floor. "Damn!I always thought I would bring the house down!" Karrie said. -------- "Whew! I really had an episode in there! My hair and dress are all fucked up...I got a headache! I think I'll go home!" -------- "You were right momma. 

They laughed at me! They all laughed at me! WHAT!? Bitch you stab me in the back!? Oh no, you didn't! You dirty back stabbing bitch! You wanna see some fancy knife work!? Watch this! 

 Knives come flying through the air and hits her mother until she is hanging like a martyr on the cross. You have the nerve! I just wanted to go to that stupid Prom!

 "I'm YOUR fucking DAUGHTER, you old bitch! I go down, we both go down!" -------

 And here lies Karrie Taylor. May she rot in hell! Amen!

'Whoever wrote that sign can rot in hell, this shit was not my fault!' 

Grave Site Scene: And that bitch strolling by my grave like it was all a bad dream! So when she bend over to put some flowers on my grave, I reached up and snatched that bitch by the arm! Hee! Hee! I bet she shit her pants! 

 I bet A LOT of people shit their pants in the audience! Hee! Hee! 

The author almost did when he first saw the movie! 

 "Rot in hell!?" That stupid sign said.

"Nigga, please! NONE of this stupid stuff was my fault anyway!"  

"What a cold world! Lose a little bit of control and you're branded for life!” 

"I hate religion!"  


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