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Satire
(Fic)
You Can't Blame That On Me
by Larry Thompson


These are stories that I wrote in response to things that happened in my life while I wasn't in my right mind. Some of them are lies! Yeah, I know, that's outrageous, but, I'm an author. I make things up! "Sounds interesting!"

Title Page

  

 

 

 

 

 

You Can’t Blame That On Me!

 

 

 

 

by

Larry K Thompson

 

TEXT EDITED BY

       DAVID OSTERHO...





A Word About David Osterhout

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Word ...





Previous Publications Page

You Can’t Blame That On Me   Other Books by Larry K. Thompson

From Berlin to Texas

From Berlin to Texas Vol. Two

From Berlin to Texas, Vol. Three

Also The four Nove...





Dedication Page

Dedication

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ...





Table of Contents

Table of Contents

 

The Wolf, Sleepy and Bushy                                1

...





The Wolf, Sleepy and Bushy

 

 

 

 

The Wolf, Sleepy and Bushy

 

 

 

 

My brother says it never happened. but I know it did. I was there. I saw it.

My little brother and I have a problem with sibling rivalry. I call him my li...





Snow White and the seven Army Dwarves

A writing prompt by Bexx Matthews, an author at ChapterBuzz.com, “Write at least 750 words that retell your favorite fairytale - except this time add monsters,” caused the following response by me. Snow White was the only fairy tale I could remember, and...





A Natural gas

 

 

 

 

A Natural Gas

 

 

 

 

My wife and I knew that the Hill Country of Texas, and particularly the area around New Braunfels, San Antonio, San Marcos, and Austin was literally pock marked with caves a...





When I say "No"

 

 

 

 

When I Say, “No”

 

 

 

 

​When I tell you, “No, you can't do that,” I am not denying you anything. 

On the contrary, when I tell you, &ldq...





Don't Rock The Boat

  

 

 

 

Don't Rock the Boat

 

 

 

 

The wrinkled old woman looked at me and said, “What’s the matter, Sonny? Ya don’t look so good.”

I turned my green face toward her ...





The Price of The Ancient Cowboy

   

 

 

 

The Price of the Ancient Cowboy

 

 

 

 

I was standing out in the middle of a section of land out on th...





Father's Day Apples

 

 

 

 

Father's Day Apples?

 

 

 

 

Father's Day morning was....an interesting.... morning!

My son and his family had come to visit for the holidays. Sunday morning, I was sitting beside my b...





Doris and Bill, Living Legends

 

 

 

 

Doris and Bill, Living Legends

 

 

 

 

A few years ago, my wife and I had gone to a town in the western half of Texas to attend an arts and crafts show. I dabble in pottery and sell it at craft s...





Not exactly "Bump" in The Night

A number of years ago, James Thurber (1894-1961) wrote a story that became famous. It has appeared a number of anthologies. His story was about things that happened in the night at his home, things that go “Bump” and scare people. It was titled, “...





What We Will Be

 

 

 

 

What We Will Be

 

 

 

 

As we were younger and the world was much simpler, knowing what we were and what we wanted to be w...





The Rooster, Egg, And Court House

If the story I’m about to tell you is a lie, I didn’t tell it first. I heard it right after I had stepped in manure, and I’m only repeating it. The guy who told it to me asked that he not be blamed for the story, although he did tell the story to m...





Memories Are Made Of This

Bexx Mathews suggested this short story, “You are someone living in a world where the currency is your very own memories. The rich know everything, while the poor trade what happiness they remember in order to survive. Write at least 750 words describing your ...





Who Could Have Guessed What The Demands Would Be?

 

 

 

 

Who Could Have Guessed What the Demands Would Be

 

 

 

 

It’s almost dark outside. I stand in the darkened living room looking out at the street. The kids and their friends ride their bikes...





On A Hog

 

 

 

 

On A Hog

 

 

 

 

I just saw a guy that looked a lot like my buddy, David. Hawk is his motorcycle name when he goes riding with the gang.

I was stopped at a traffic light, and this guy pulls...





Whiz By Ir Drop In

 

 

 

 

Whiz By Or Drop In

 

 

 

 

Grandpa Harvey Fletcher’s wisdom, at age 94, was some­thing I came to appreciate. Whenever I visited with him, he always told me something I’ve never forgo...





The Bridge Again

The assignment was, “Write a short story of no more than 250 words about the statement, “The Bridge was out.”

 

 

 

 

The Bridge, Again

 

 

 

 

The ...





The Sound Police

 

 

 

 

The Sound Police

 

 

 

 

Last week my wife and I were sitting in our car at a traffic light when the car began to rock and sway. A deep throated ba—ba—boom vibrated through the car wi...





Tou Can't Blame That On Me

  

 

 

 

You Can't Blame That on Me

 

 

 

 

For me, it was a small misunderstanding, but for my mom, she has always thought I deliberately spit on the kitchen floor. I did not spit on the floor.

...





The Unexpected Thing

The assignment was to write Flash Fiction, 50 words or so, about a fishing boat just off a frigid northern coast. Including the headline, I dud it within 40 words. 

 

 

 

The Unexpected Thing

 

 ...





Asking The Impossible

 

 

 

 

Asking the Impossible

 

 

 

 

I was slowly but ponderously typing away on chapter 31 of my new novel, Critical Deception,





Decision






Caution

At the Corner of Hope And Reality

 

 

CAUTION

 

When you read

 

Words may SEDUCE

You Into

 

ENLIGHTENMENT!

 

 

 

Sorry, this old English teacher used to tape these sa...





Populating an Intellectual Wasteland

A couple of years before I decided to retire from teaching, I stood in the hallway at school observing the students as they passed from one class to the next. As I watched them behave and communicate, and thereby demonstrate their level of learning for the day, I wa...





Three Guys Walk into a Bar!

 

 

 

 

Three Guys Walk into a Bar!

 

 

 

 

I’m the kind of guy who is easy to get along with. I mean I don’t get very emotional over odd or rare events, even when they happen to me. I j...





What does THAT mean?

 

 

 

 

What does That mean?

 

 

 

 

I had driven an RV motorcoach before I bought my RV travel trailer. Parking the motorcoach was reasonably easy. I had help from my wife when it came time to backup in...





Marrying Time

 

 

 

 

Marrying Time

 

 

 

 

May and June, the wedding season, have a lot of history behind them. People talk about traditions during this time without ever really knowing where the traditions come from...





They Did What at Christmas?

 

 

 

 

They Did What at Christmas?

 

 

 

 

It’s funny about nursery rhymes, you know? We teach our children social graces and behaviors through nursery rhymes. We also teach them how to sing and h...





Only That and Nothing More!

 

 

 

 

Only That and Nothing More!

 

 

 

 

A few years ago, I was still teaching at a rural 4 AAA high school. I had two students in my classes who were memorable. Each was memorable for a different rea...





On Marriage and Family

 

 

 

 

On Marriage and Family

 

 

 

 

To the Sons and to the Daughters:

 

Take heed and listen as one who knows speaks. These words are for you as you become spouses and fathers and mot...





The Irony of Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

 

The Irony of Valentine’s Day

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s day is an age-old practice, and it is one of life’s little ironies.

While the celebration of Valentine’s Day is almo...





What?

 

 

 

 

What?

 

 

 

 

Phil Hill, the high school teacher stood at the chalk board. He wrote tomorrow’s date and tomorrow’s assignment. Tomorrow would be April 18, 2017.

Once written, he...





The Asian Assassin

 

 

 

 

The Asian Assassin

 

 

 

 

The three American Special Forces Army operatives were not in uniform. Two were dressed in Russian attire for their clandestine mission. The third was dressed as a Keny...





You Can't Handle It

 

 

 

 

You Can’t Handle It

 

 

 

 

On Sunday, the Doc gave Fred a well-known medical steroid for his chest congestion and coughing up green stuff. He did not give Fred the 5 mg kind. He gave ...





The Obvious Answer

 

 

 

 

The Obvious Answer

 

 

 

 

The doctor said, “The test results are back, and they confirm my initial diagnosis! It’s true, I’m afraid.”

I looked at him and asked, &ld...





Who’s Not Perfect?

The Writing challenge was to write a piece of Flash Fiction, 100 words, plus or minus. The subject was New Years’ Resolutions. Done in 100 words.

 

 

 

 

Who’s Not Perfect?

 

 





Next, the novella, Black Bushwhack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black Bushwhack

 

 

by

Larry K. Thompson

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black Bushwhack





If My Wife Likes the Color, I’ll Buy It

 

 

 

 

If My Wife Likes the Color, I’ll Buy It

 

 

 

 

I had...





Using Your Head

I found this online

 

 

 

 

Using Your Head

 

Exercising the Brain

 

Exerci...





About the author

About the Author

Larry Thompson grew up in El Paso, Texas. He lived an almost normal life, and barely escaped being labelled a juvenile delinquent. He and his brother lived with his father and mother on the Fort Bliss Army installation. His father was an Army NCO, and his m...






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