I knew that God could see the good and bad in people and that he had his ways of punishing the bad, I hoped that God saw the good in Cameron and let him be happy. Even if it wasn't with me, even if he was crying now. I wanted God to grant my wish and make him forget me if I lose my battle, to make of me just a memory and move on to a happy and better future. After all I took everything he put in my way without complains. This was the time to ask for a miracle.
While securing Cameron in my worn-out arms, I kept on silently praying; I knew God would hear my voice, the voice of a desperate girl who wanted to live and wanted to make the people around her happy. This was the complicated relationship we had. He had to help me this time.
"Stop looking at me, you're making me nervous." Cameron joked while sharing a bed with me in my hospital room.
Even with my parents against it. I wanted to stay with him until the time of the surgery because the thought of this being our last memory crossed my mind countless times already. A thought that kept coming back to me every time Cameron looked away.
"It'll be hard to sleep if I feel your eyes on me all the time," he said shyly, the distance between us just a blanket. I smiled at his shyness. It was new to me. It was exciting.
"But I'm really happy that we get to sleep together," I said trying to give him the puppy dog eyes.
He turned away for a quick second. He looked so innocent. Just having him there next to me for a whole night made my heart flutter. Listening to his heart that was just right in my ear, having his breath caressing me every time he said something, having his arms wrapped around me to keep me warm, I couldn't even think of sleeping when I completely happy.
"Okay, then how about we talk about, our future..." Cameron suggested, his lips gently kissing my forehead. I struggled for a short second. I did want a future with him, but what if...
"Our future?" I asked, ...