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from Don't Let Go by Karla Martinez

Copyright © 2019 Karla Martinez

My Love

"Hey," Cameron greeted softly, making my heart jump with joy. But it hurt.

It was painful and sweet at the same time. Just seeing him cautiously standing at the door. His face, his perfect face looking sad and tired. He almost looked sick. I wanted to hug him, to feel his arms around me, to reassure him that I was fine, that even when I looked scary; I was fine, but I wasn't and I couldn't say that.

"Hi..." my voice trembled to see his intense eyes looking at me like I was still the prettiest girl in his eyes.

Though in reality, I was paler than a ghost. Bones and flesh, it didn't matter how much Barbara tried to make me look better, I still looked like a sick person. A person who was going to die soon. Cameron in the other hand, with his dark messy hair. His intense honey eyes and perfectly straight nose. Even when he looked tired, he looked perfect. Tears rolled out, finally, and I didn't care, I was happy. Beyond happy to finally see him. See that he had forgiven me for keeping him in the dark. For pretending I was healthy when I wasn't.

He fell on his knees next to me. His hand shaking as he made contact with mine. A knot formed in my throat, but I had to keep in mind that I had to stay calm if I wanted to see him more often. It felt so much better to feel his cold hand than anything else. It was the best medicine to my agonizing heart.

"I... was so scared... for the first time in my life, I, was scared of losing, you..." his voice trembling like I had never heard it before.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for lying." I blurted out before I could pass out again.

It was torturous to see him this affected, this was the reason I wanted to fight; I couldn't forgive myself for letting him have that sad look on his face. It didn't belong there. It wasn't something he had to deal with. He deserved better, and I wanted to be his strength, not what would make him break. Even then, knowing all this, I wasn't strong enough to let him go. With tears in my eyes and with what I had, I squeezed his shaky hand.

"Hey, hey... it's okay. It's okay," he picked himself up as soon as the monitor started to go off.

Our trembling finger tangling together I knew that Cameron and I would be together forever. Even if we didn't live in the same lifetime, but deep down I really wish we would. He kissed my pale hand, an...

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