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from Don't Let Go by Karla Martinez

Copyright © 2019 Karla Martinez

Guard Up

Depression was as bad as my heart disease. My eyes hurt from crying so much, my face hurt from trying to play hero. Half of my body was numbed to a point I was concern about it. But what was I expecting? I couldn't be playing with my life anymore. I shouldn't. I was killing myself without considering that it wasn't only me dying. The tears kept coming out as I realized what I'd done.

This disease was killing my family as well. My parents and doctor's Jackson effort to find a cure for me. It was ruining friendships, the good relationship we all had, everything was being torn apart. The last thing I wanted was to drag down Cameron and Yael's friendship, because unlike me. Yael was going to live longer. He could find many opportunities to tell Cameron, come to a conclusion of what he felt to everyone. But for me, I had to be honest. I had no time. I could feel it. More tears rolled down as my numb heart shuddered.

"it's alright, honey. You'll be better as soon as the medicine kicks in." nurse Denise soothed me while checking the bruise on the corner of my mouth. Taking a punch from a very angry boy was the craziest thing I had ever done. Good memory for my life. I didn't regret it though, if it was Yael with the bruise on his face, I would feel worse.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, struggling to move my mouth.

A stunned Yael stood in a corner of the room, while the gentle nurse took care of cut lips and my swollen cheek. It reminded me of the time I found out about my illness, he was there while Barbara scolded me. he quietly stood there and watched, his brown eyes widely gazing into nothing.

"Please make an effort to rest, okay? Everything else can wait." Kate said in a warning tone, unable to say another word. I just nodded.

My heart calmed down a little bit after the doctor checked on me. Of course, I got scolded and I deserved it. I couldn't do anything but cry. I pleaded with him to not call my parents. The last thing they needed was to get a call that I was in the hospital with a bruised on my face. The whole thing would just get Aubrey in more troubled and potently ruin our family forever. I cried some more, but the doctor agreed to let me stay alone.

Yael finally relaxed after we were left alone. He flopped himself on the chair next to my bed. I was connected to a heart monitor which sounded tired. Yael caressed my hand without actually touching it, he looked concerned by the yellowish color of my skin and the IV tubes torturing my thin wrists. His eyes narrowed thinking of ...











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