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from Two Candidates Walk Into A Bar by Nick Edinger

Chapter VIII

Chapter 8

“It is a hit!” shouted Henry, stretching his arms and leaning back in his arched, wheeled computer chair. None of his energy had left him. He and Amal were in Henry’s shabby apartment. Only a few hours had passed since they left the club with the Fulton video. Both combed through Henry’s Twitter feed, watching the responses to the prank pour in. Though Amal would probably use the word “trickle.” It didn’t matter to Henry— it was worth having him here, if only so the two could browse through the Internet’s best re-purposings and re-imaginings of Goatse.

Henry pointed at his spotless computer screen: there, trending at number 29, was #Goatse2023. Henry had never seen a more beautiful sight.

Amal sat up from the floor. He dusted some crumbs off his slacks. He walked over to Henry’s computer stand, avoiding the tangle of wires underneath him. “Well, I guess, if you choose to define a hit as one trending Twitter hashtag, as well as a mention on Buzzfeed.”
“And it’s coming around the bend fast, too!” said Henry in a racetrack announcer voice. “And guess what? While we were bullshitting tonight, we got a shout-out from our boy Mot Thal!”

Amal smirked. Henry backed up his statement with, “Ok, maybe he’s not our boy it’s more like we are his bitches. But bitches still get treats on occasion!”

With a few clicks, Henry pulled up a tweet from Mot Thal. The tweet embedded Henry’s video, a video titled “Theodoard Fulton (R-AZ) is one of us now.”



Mot Thal ✓ @totmall
Brings me back to my youth… hope @HenryCockburn and I can have a drink! #Goatse2023

1: 58 AM -19 Jan 2019
127 Retweets, 394 Favorites



Amal’s mouth hung slightly open. Henry saw Amal wipe his left eye. The comedian couldn’t disguise a childlike glee in his lit-up face. “It’s… well, I…”

“So did you want videotaping credits or something?”

Amal shouted, “YES!” so loud that both the comedians started a “shush!” match against each other. Once that ended, Henry typed up his last tweet in a long night of them.

Amal collapsed on the nearby beanbag, imitatin...






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