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from Don't Let Go by Karla Martinez

Copyright © 2019 Karla Martinez

Ending Soon

I woke up in a hospital bed again. This time it looked more serious, I needed help to breathe and thanks to a ventilator, I could. Multiple IVs on both my arms; the nasty smell of medicine, chlorine, and rubber from the gloves was making me nauseous. The painful sting of the IV needles had my wrists numb and a little swollen. My skin was so pale, my veins were bluish and visible. The pain in my chest was gone, though. The air was slowly going to my lungs, but the taste of blood was still in my mouth. It was disgusting. My eyelids were heavy and tired. Though I could hear someone next to me, it was really difficult to hear a voice when all I could hear was the beeping sound of the monitor. The sound in the monitor was steady and that was good for me. Blocking out the beeping sound, I could hear a faintly female voices concentrating more on it. It was Aubrey.

A few days passed and like this Aubrey spent almost every day in the hospital. Little by little my body and my strength was coming back, but it wasn't going normal, not even close. I wasn't getting better than before. It was just that. Keeping me alive, but never getting better. The oxygen mask was gone, but the IVs and heart monitor were still there. Barbara was taking it easy on me this time. She didn't complain; simply took care of me. It was hopeless to think I was improving. Every time Doctor Jackson walked in the room; he looked more and more concern. Barbara looked on the verge of tears every time she had to leave me like that was the last time she was going to see my face. I never said anything though. Pretending not to notice was the only way, the best way for anyone who got to see my misery daily.

In the end, I could have a peaceful ending; with Aubrey and my parents keeping me company. I was happy we finally got to spend time together, but when I was lying in the narrow hospital bed, listening to the rhythm of my heart. Fighting with the sad sunsets I couldn't see clearly because my bed was too low. All I could see was the orange curtain left behind by the sun, every evening I imagined from the window ...

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