The night was going great, nothing of what I actually expected. We danced, we took pictures, we sang along, we laughed and enjoyed so much. Trying to keep my heart in a balance rate, I took a minute to relax; I had managed to walk by myself with heels, it wasn't that bad actually, it just needed some getting used to, there was no way I was going to be dragging Yael around to keep me balance all night long. I could feel the next day I was going to be in pain, though. The throb in my toes was yelling at me to stop or to just take my heels off, but even, if I was in pain, I didn't want to ruin the only day I had been beautiful.
Sitting in a corner watching Tanya danced with Yael to Live Your Life, by T.I next to them Rocky with Cameron happily enjoying themselves, it was kind of bold of them to act like they have never had any intimacy it was disgusting. I had to try my best not to go off on Rocky, she was being kind of a two face, always making excuses when I had the opportunity of being the one next to Cameron, but she would gladly drag him to the dance floor and pretend to be just friends dancing. With great effort, I swallowed my frustration and pretended not to be affected at all. There was no way to change what she was and who she really was rooting for. In reality, it hurt me, seeing them acting so friendly right next to Yael. Maybe that was why my heart felt so tight, it was painful to have the thoughts of actually wanting to end the closeness between Rocky and Cameron, for me and for Yael. Hating myself for thinking, why were we the ones suffering alone, and not them? Though Aubrey's wrinkle line in the middle of her forehead showed that she wasn't happy about sharing Cameron, not even with Rocky. Although she knew, she couldn't say anything, if she wanted to keep showing him off. Not wanting to be like my sister, feeling pathetic enough. I sucked in a deep breath through my nose and stand on my heels again. Deciding this was a good time to head to the bathroom. I relaxed my toes and took every step very carefully.
To make my situation worse, there was no bathroom closer to the gym other than the one on the second floor. I sighed defeated. Managing to walk up the stairs even when it was dark. The romantic music still in the background, I wasn't the only one walking in the hallways, but the only one alone. I smiled at how low I had to put myself all the time. I looked dreadful and pitiful.
Splashing cold water on my face to refresh my senses. My heart gave me a little warning that I've had enough for the night, the light stab made the hair on the tip of my neck stand up. Taking a few breaths and wiping my face. The water washed away the makeup, leaving my face pale like a sick person should be, my color was deteriorating every passing day. Tidying up my hair into a high bum, but leaving my bangs out to cover my tired eyes, I counted to ten and went back to Yael.
My feet seemed to hurt more going down the steps than going up. Wishing to take my heels off and just dump them in the trash and never see them again, but I couldn't. At least not where kids that thought so highly of themselves surrounded me. I didn't really care what they said about me, but now that everyone had seen me with Yael, I didn't want anyone him to be mocked, because of me, so I had to endure the pain and be strong for him.
Although I had to take breaks in between, leaning on the window to gasp for air at the last step. The sound of "Love Remains the Same" by Gavin Rossdale playing, I held on for a few minutes to calm myself. Still not wanting to see Aubrey and Cameron dancing together. I felt bad enough as it was, risking my heart was nonsense. I could feel it, I had to stop dreaming and hoping, my heart kept yelling at me to stop, why was I ignoring it? I kept doing all type of reckless things for what? It didn't make sense at all, this life wasn't caught up for me, it was too much to handle. I closed my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. Counting the minutes, the song lasted; my heartbeat seemed to slowly calm down. It felt better. Taking a look at the fragile heart on my wrist, it was so beautiful but broken. Just like my heart. I smiled looking at it.
"So much for the change." his voice made me snap my eyes open, so much for calming my heart. I knew he could see the surprise on my fa...