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from Don't Let Go by Karla Martinez

Copyright © 2019 Karla Martinez

Feelings

Seating next to Rocky; breathing in the cool air of March. I sighed trying to stay calm. As time passed, the pain was more real every day. Even though I had to come clean with my feelings. If one day I wouldn't wake up anymore, I didn't want to leave behind any mix feelings with anyone, especially Rocky. She was the sister Aubrey never was for me. The supporter I needed most of the time, although sometimes I just needed someone less aggressive and less thoughtful. Someone like Tanya. That was the reason Tanya was the first one to know about Cameron, then Yael. Now, I just wanted to tell Rocky and clarify if my hunch was real. Does she like Cameron? I glanced at her with the corner of my eyes as she looked ahead.

In many ways, life was not fair for me, but this was the complicated relationship I had with God. Every time he had the chance, he would slap me in the face at full strength, but then smooth the sting with a reward. To have good, I had to have the bad. I understood that.

Cameron was probably going to be the first and last guy I would feel something for, but it was clear that every day my existence was fading away. Every painful stab I felt when he looked at me reminded me I wasn't good for him and he wasn't for me. I understood that and it was scary to see how all odds were against me. If my intuition was correct, and Rocky was indeed having the same feelings I had for the same guy. That was my end. But then, I had to wait for God to soothe the pain this could bring.

"Rocky." I began with a low voice just for her to hear but it was mostly because of my accelerating rate.

She was quietly watching some kids feed the dock by the lake. Her big brown eyes nervously waiting t...











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