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from The Brightest Firefly by Dacia M Arnold








I am quite a gregarious introvert with a large fear of missing out, or what the kids call Fo-Mo. Fo-Mo keeps most people scrolling through social media at all hours of the night. I might have to wake-up at 5 a.m., but Susan’s love life is like an episode of The Young and the Restless. I cannot turn away. This week her partner is Joslyn, a grocery clerk at the organic store. Jonathan has been completely wiped clean of her Facebook photo albums as if he never existed three days ago. My head is spinning. If I got out more, maybe my life would be more exciting. Catch me at kindergarten drop-off or the grocery store, I am quick with a joke, but you’ll likely not see me elsewhere.

Having moved every three years since I was born, I don’t typically keep friends close. Meaning I know from their social media the major highlights of life, but lack the intimate knowledge of how they’re really doing. At the same time I try to post on social media regularly so as to minimize the need for anyone to personally see how I’m doing. Not that I would stiff arm anyone who approached me. It’s just exhausting to me to keep up constant interaction.

In 2014, my husband and I purchased our forever home, digging in roots I have no experience in growing. Our first winter in the house, my neighbor across the street invited my family over for her annual Christmas Eve house party. I said yes in a moment of outgoing energy but as my introverted brain took over, I seriously had no intention of attending.

The day of, I weighed some pros and cons. Pros: 1. I told her we would be there. 2. There would be other people with kids there. 3. I needed to get out of the house for something other than work and if I walked straight out my front door, I’d be standing on her porch so there was no real excuse not to go. Cons: I don’t wanna. What if I said som...

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