Home   |   Stories   |   FAQ   |   Search   |   Sign in   |   Join

Support this author!

Share this story:

     

More ways to share...
Two Candidates Walk Into A Bar
by Nick Edinger

Two comedians, each best friends, are hired as digital strategists by rival presidential campaigns. Their jobs are to create the memes that sway the election


Chapter I

PART I
The Setup
or
Holy shit, this stupid comedy book has parts?!?



Chapter 1
This was the last happy night Amal would experience until two years later, after the 2024 presidential election. He spent most of that night at an Arizona comedy club, looking for, and dre...


Read more




Chapter II

Chapter 2

Henry stood backstage. He tapped his foot, waiting for Amal to join him. He had developed fifty different non-sequiturs to help Amal ease out of awkward conversations, and had used none of them in the past two years. Whenever he got Amal out of polite company, something better alway...


Read more




Chapter III

Chapter 3

Amal waited to speak until Henry finished— he knew Henry was on a roll. Henry outlined several strategies for tonight’s bit, but made Amal’s role clear— film Henry and Fulton when they talk later on. Henry would put the video on his Twitter page, and, finger...


Read more




Chapter IV

Chapter 4

If Henry knew one fact, it was this: comedy was the most real thing in the world.

That statement wasn’t exactly true: Henry believed he knew several facts. He knew that Amal had left to work on his routine. He knew, as he peeked at the audience through the curtain backs...


Read more




Chapter V

Chapter 5

It was a killer performance, at least to Amal— he found himself laughing at some of the jokes he tore apart during his workshops with Henry. Henry, on occasion, joked about hiring Frederick as a professional laugh track. If he did, he needn’t had bothered. Amal set dow...


Read more




Chapter VI

Chapter 6

Henry joined Amal at the bar for the final act. The bartender (who played the police officer) resumed his duties after returning the uniform to the costume closet. The headliner performed after the double feature of Henry Cockburn and Amal Beck, to rave responses. Henry missed the a...


Read more




Chapter VII

Chapter 7

Amal, filming, had to grab Henry’s phone with both hands to stop it shaking. Few people in the Chandler Comedy Club could contain themselves. The moment Amal caught on a phone; where Representative Fulton just repeated a crass (and worse yet, outdated) meme; had the makings of...


Read more




Chapter VIII

Chapter 8

“It is a hit!” shouted Henry, stretching his arms and leaning back in his arched, wheeled computer chair. None of his energy had left him. He and Amal were in Henry’s shabby apartment. Only a few hours had passed since they left the club with the Fulton video. Both...


Read more




Chapter IX

Chapter 9

Amal woke up to a knock on the door. He stirred, and then arched his back. Amal once practiced his fire-starting routine on this couch, in partial hope that the ratty thing would die a deserved death. Amal sat up and stretched his arms, reaching towards a slightly damp ceiling. His ...


Read more




Chapter X

Chapter 10

A dozen thoughts spun around Henry’s head. It was like a dream come true… but not a normal dream, more like one of the X-Men-circus-parade ones Henry might experience after eating too much frozen cheesesteak. Sam’s cute half-smile and slender fingers only made th...


Read more




Chapter XI

Chapter 11

Amal had had enough. Just as Henry hopped up from his chair, his outstretched hand ready to shake Sam’s, Amal stepped forward to push Henry’s arm down.

“Amal, buddy…”

“If you liked Schmeling, then you would not take this job.&rdquo...


Read more




Chapter XII

Chapter 12

Henry staggered. All his energy drained out of his head, and his body turned into a statue of jelly. He looked at Amal. Amal sat there, in Henry’s chair, his eyes glued to the floor, his legs tight together… how could he just sit there? Why could Amal maintain a calm f...


Read more




Chapter XIII

Chapter 13

Amal helped Henry pack in silence, for the most part. They placed books in boxes, argued about toilet roll placement, dismantled the computer, pried the katana off of the mantle, and left the couch for the next poor renter to worry about. Amal’s mouth had stopped moving, but ...


Read more








Read stories      FAQ      Contact us      Terms of Use      Privacy Policy

© 2017 Dream, Play, Write! All rights reserved.